My Bike Story – ‘Blood Dragon’

bicycle race

We all have our bike stories to tell. Whether it’s that trip to Centre Parks with the family, or just that you can sing Queen’s ‘Bicycle Race’ without a lyrics sheet. Well, folks, here’s my bike story – I call it ‘Blood Dragon’.

There’s been nothing tougher than spending my first year at University as an off-campus student. Living in the not-so-fancy Tang Hall area, I had to walk for half an hour to get to uni, there and back, every single day. Some days, I’d stay at my girlfriend’s place just to avoid leaving campus (and, because I wanted to, of course).

Then, one day, I heard there was a bike sale of re-cycled bikes on-campus. Initially, I had my fears, but there was no harm in at least popping along. When I arrived, there was a range of slightly-rusted bikes, ranging both in colour and price. After much scanning, I found my needle in the haystack – a steed for £50, with all kit included. Bingo. My luck hadn’t run out after all! However, there was one small catch:

The bike was bright pink with neon green handlebars.

blood dragon
Sadly, it doesn’t come with the drain pipe!

Yikes. I stood there assuring myself, with sentences such as “Ady, it’s fine, it has that vintage, California beach look about it!” and “It’s salmon, dammit, salmon!”. I knew that I’d live to regret this, forever mocked by my immediate family and passer-by chavs. But, being the cheapskate that I am, I couldn’t ignore how cheap it was, how proud my Mum would be for buying a bike £30 cheaper than my brother.

And so, after handing over my money and receiving a ‘That’s a unique choice, mate!’ from the seller, I have something that can get me to and fro rather quickly, is the brightest bike on campus and beyond and gives me an excuse to sing ‘Bicycle Race’.

So why call this story Blood Dragon? Well, for any gamers and popular-culture-enthusiasts out there, it relates to Far Cry 3’s standalone adventure, ‘Blood Dragon’. For those who aren’t either of the above, the game showcases killer cyborgs, laser dinosaurs and more bright pinks and neon greens than an exercise video from the 80s!

Sgt. Rex Power Colt - my bike's inspiration
Sgt. Rex Power Colt – my bike’s inspiration

Sadly, I am sad enough to name my bike ‘Blood Dragon’… all judgmental comments are welcome.

It’s Beginning To Look/Smell/Taste/Sound/Feel A Lot Like Christmas!

My Christmas post from last year – Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!

TheTripletBlogger

Santa Claus Christmas Cartoon HD Wallpaper 1080x607 Santa Claus Christmas Cartoon

Hallelujah! After 25 days of opening cardboard windows for a piece of milk chocolate, of running around frantically searching for present after present (seriously, I really think ‘Christmas Shopping’ should be considered a competitive sport in its own right at the Winter Olympics!) and imitating Shane MacGowan’s part in ‘Fairytale of New York’ in as drunk a fashion as possible, the big day has finally arrived. Christmas, a day where drinking excess amounts of champagne and eating large amounts of chocolate are, well, highly encouraged! Despite the stress and anxiety that precedes this day, it all works out for the best when everything builds up into one, heart-warming day of relaxation and the first of two ‘Mrs Brown’s Boys’ specials. GET IN! Whilst I feel that the novelty of my birthday wears off after a while, Christmas still remains as big, as camp and as cuddly as I remember. Why? It’s tradition. With birthdays…

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Remember Our Soldiers, This Day of November

Almost every weekend without fail, I complain about going to work. I don my striped Matalan polo and trousers, pin ‘Adrian’ to my upper chest and leave the house with a deteriating sense of enthusiasm. Yet, as I got off of the bus yesterday, I was greeted by an ageing man in an old, ill-fitting WW1 uniform, shivering as he held a donation box to passers by, breathing into his tattered gloves for warmth, in desperate need of one of my Mum’s ‘magical hugs’. Was he miserable? Well, his ‘Cheshire Cat’ smile wasn’t helping his case – that, to me, is what Remembrance Day is all about.

We spend the entire year glorifying events as they pass through the calendar. At 18, I still have a memo on my phone titled ‘Christmas List’ where I write down my latest dreamboat gizmos that I may or may not need. Even Matalan themselves had Christmas stock months before Halloween started having a hype to it! Filled with Action Men and Avengers’ play sets, I ask myself – where are the cool action figures of WW1 soldiers in battle?

I think it’s a matter of respect that society understands that we don’t mass-commercialise this day of all days. You can walk past people who don’t say a word to you; but when you notice that poppy on their chest, you see the silent message that they’re showing to yourself and the world – to our soldiers, thank you. To my great granddad who passed away when I was little, thank you. To the gentleman freezing his hoo-has off outside Tesco’s near Matalan, thank you.

Let’s forget, just for one day, that games like Call of Duty exist – war isn’t something to be glorified. Instead, reflect on those that have helped build the world that we live in today – heck, go put a smile on your face as you go off to work, I know I will! As most of you know, I have a medical (hah) addiction to listening to Coldplay – I find listening to this song, reading the poem ‘In Flanders Fields’ and re-watching the ‘Remembrance Sunday’ service help to capture the spirit of this day – lest we forget 🙂

You’re The One Who Is My Man Crush

In light of Valentine’s Day (or Thursday, the 14th of February we singletons prefer to call it), I’m going to share a little something with you. As couples reel out the ‘Pretty Woman’s and the ‘Titanic’s in preparation for a soppy, tear-filled evening; as roses are bought and love-letters are sealed with a great, fat *MWAH*; and as Cupid readies his golden arrows in the hope of shooting some poor, lonely sod in the derriere and filling them with a rush of hormones, I begin to realise that I’m one of the few people who will spend their night singing Akon’s ‘Mr Lonely’ in front of a mirror. Yet, we ‘lone wolves’ are capable of feeling as mushy as a plate of school dinner mash-potatoe around this time of year, too – I certainly am. Though, not in a But, but you don’t understand. I love her so much it hurts! kind of way. In a different way…

Whether it be at parties, or just randomly with my best friend, this question has awkwardly been placed into conversation, with me as its victim. So, if you had to pick one person, who would you say your man crush is? ‘The Man Crush’ – normally, I have never been able to answer this question at the expense of both my pride and my heterosexuality! However, thanks to the likes of ‘Urban Dictionary’ (which is much better than your mainstream dictionary, if not slightly more dysfunctional), I realise now that I completely misunderstood what I thought, at first, was a teenage guy’s answer to a ‘social taboo’. Respect, admiration and idolisation of another man. Bearing that in mind, I feel that to myself and my readers, I can finally answer this question without the fear of being called ‘a puff’. This is slightly awkward for me, so rather than telling you my man crush is Johnny Depp, I’ll just show you a picture of him instead:

*Lone wolf whistle*, hellooooo Johnny! Don’t get me wrong, he’s not a bad-looking chap; but it’s not his looks that encouraged me to publicly embarrass myself on WordPress. Rather, it’s the fact he has grown to become many of the traditional, fictional characters that I myself have grown to love ever since I was a little kid. Captain Jack Sparrow – the treacherous yet coward-like pirate who spends the majority of his time chasing after girls and long-lost treasures, with the question ‘Why is the rum gone?’ always at the back of his mind. Edward Scissorhands – an unfortunately disfigured ‘creation’ who doesn’t make the best first impression, but chooses to make cracking ice sculptures instead. Mad Hatter – a dysfunctional, loyal friend to Alice who throws the best damn tea party in all of Wonderland. Seriously, ask anyone! All of these different, unique characters came about from this one man. This is what makes Mr Depp worthy of being the man who is worthy of my crush. Okay, the elephant in the blog post is that all actors do this – yet, not all actors can do it in the way that he can.

Whether it be a role-model, an inspiration or an *insert sex here* crush, we enjoy to follow them by example. I realised that just having a broad, Yorkshire accent isn’t the most entertaining and inspirational one to listen to – the answer to solve this problem was in fact GCSE Drama. I thought I’d follow Johnny’s example and maybe try out a few more accents here and there. Just like he expanded into all of these different characters, I enjoyed embracing my sense of creativity and venturing into these different, cultural voices. There was a Gok Wan here, an African-American Vicar there, even a West Country farmer somewhere else! Now? You’ll certainly want me on your side when you’re prank calling someone! Having an idol to measure up against helped me achieve such a goal, albeit, a rather child-like one.

‘Measure Up Against’ being the key phrase in that sentence! In one shameful way from another, we have had to bear witness to some people who, rather than just having a crush or a role model to admire, have one instead to duplicate. Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, Joker – we’ve sadly seen them all. I think the joy of having someone to look up to is that we don’t change who we are in an attempt to become someone else; but instead we can change the way we are because it seems the right thing to do so. I’m going to bear in mind the cliché Facebook ‘You’re The One Who…’ comment: You’re the one who’s great, so don’t ever change! If it’s a real crush or a ‘Johnny Depp like’ one, remain true to yourself before you send that extra cringey Valentines Card or shave your head because ‘Britney did it so I totally should!’.

Use The Revision Guide, Young Adrian – May The Exams Be With You

Judgement Month is upon me. Myself and hundreds of thousands of other students sit here anxiously as our ancient enemy, the ‘exam’ (saying its name gives me goosebumps!) readies itself for another, mind-boggling battle. January. The first month of the year, which is supposedly meant to be filled with prosperity and hope for the new year… but instead? It is filled with revision, stress, caffeine, more stress, more revision and even more caffeine. Sadly, I had this great idea for a new post tonight on ‘Time’. Yet because I’ve walked into my own ‘ironic trap’, I’ve run out of such a concept to finish writing it! My exams begin at the end of this week and my head needs a fillin’ with fact after useless fact. I’ll be sure to post it next Sunday as my exams begin to cool down – for now? I hope I haven’t disappointed the blogging community too much and for all those exam-takers in my position; well, use the revision guide, young *insert name here*. Best of luck and I’ll see you on the other side. Take care, readers!

It’s A New Start, It’s A New Year, It’s A New Life For Me – And I’m Feeling Drunk

 Top New Years Eve Parties In Las Vegas

Here we go everyone! 5, 4, 3, 2, 1… BLAST OFF! Wait, that’s not it… *Ahem*, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1… ZERO! Nope, that’s not it either.  5, 4, 3, 2, 1… happy new year? Really? Well then – HAPPY NEW YEAR! That dysfunctional time of year has finally arrived – not a time where pink bunnies skip around throwing chocolate eggs from baskets; nor a time where hyperactive, costumed kids flock the streets to fill their goody bags a plenty. Oh no, this is a time when stumbling around your living room, champagne glass in hand and dancing around to Jools Holland are the ways to celebrate properly!

New Year’s Eve, or ‘Day’, it really does depend on whether you’re reading this before or after twelve; quite possibly the second most mischievous night of the year (I think we all know which is the first, its self explanatory title gives it away)! The thing about tonight is, we certainly remember to celebrate it with our friends and family, those close to us. With 70m texts on average sent shortly before midnight and 28% of Brits expected to go out for a family walk, I think our concern to celebrate it with others is clear! However, whether we remember any of that celebration whatsoever? Well… that is one wacky, drunken story altogether. The majority of those texts sent possibly have to be translated or… considered, as they may have been intended for someone else. The Drunken Text, the pally-pall of this night of celebration. With 180m pints of alcohol expected to be drunk, I think these two will remain friends for yet another year. Here is a simple equation for you – Drink + Text = Nskjdpehzxfdscsdq. It works, I can promise you that. Also, that family walk may even be a ‘family stumble’, depending on how hard we celebrate tonight! 70% of us are expected to have some form of house party, whether that be within our own home or at our friends. The other 30%? *Sigh*, I’m afraid you’re just not celebrating right.

As you can see, this night is a time to let go. In that void between one year and another, we can just throw all of the past year into it. Within just a mere, few seconds, we look back at an entire year. Whilst we can’t remember all of the previous year (curse you, pint of Carlsberg!), we at least try to ponder upon both the admirable and cringe-worthy highlights of it. That time you managed to spell ‘supercalifragilisticexpialidocious’ correct for the very first time without having to Google it. Or how about that time your Mum walked in on the Inbetweeners at the point where Simon had his doo-das out on the fashion show, *shudder*? Thinking about the Olympic games, whether that be the incredible sporting achievements, how Steven Feck ‘Fecked Up’ (it had to be done) his diving attempt, or seeing James Bond parachute out of a helicopter with ‘Her Majesty’ (who still looked miserable afterwards. Come on, Lizzy, you just skydived with 007 and opened the Olympic Games, crack us a smile!). Memories, memories, even more memories. We weigh up the past 365 days and just consider one of two options:

  1. Wow, 2012 was an absolutely brilliant year. Here’s to 2013! *Clinks wineglasses*
  2. Man… my year has been *beep*! Another year? Another whole year? Here’s to 2013… *Downs Smirnoff*

Before you cry on your screen and risk breaking the thing at realising you are option two – DON’T PANIC. There is still hope, which comes in the form of a little promise you make to yourself – The New Year’s Resolution. Mate, they‘re just crap, never stick to ’em anyway! Okay, the odds are stacked against me – only 1 in 10 of us succeed in fulfilling our new year’s resolution, whilst 12% of those resolutions only last throughout the year. Seems pointless, right? Well scaaaarew the statistics! To be honest, it’s not about whether you stick by your promise, but as to whether you feel you can see a change in yourself for the year. It’s a strange, little concept, the new year’s resolution. Tonight, as we change those two digits from a ’12’ to a ’13’, we in some way hope to change a little something about ourselves, too. It may even appear insignificant, something we don’t even consider throughout the year. Yet, as we see ourselves boxing the Christmas decorations *sniff* away, changing our bedside calendars, we feel that it is a necessary thing to witness a change in ourselves. To lose weight, to gain weight; to find more extra-curricular activities to do, to get rid of a few extra-curricular activities because you do too many; to make a new year’s resolution, to make a resolution to promise yourself not to make a resolution next year. The list continues! When he’s not making E.T. phone home, or creating CGI dinosaurs to chase Jeff Goldblum, Speilberg is making quotes like this:

‘All of us, every single year, we’re a different person. I don’t think we’re the same person all our lives’

Too right, Stevie. Who knows whether we’ll succeed in our miniature promise – but as long as we ignore the fact that 2013 may be an unlucky year if you’re superstitious, party the night away today and count those 10 numbers down with Ole Joolsey like you’ve never bloomin’ counted before? Well, the next year is going to be one hell of a ride. Happy New Year, sober readers, and to those too intoxicated to read this? Happy New Year to you, too! I hope you all have a prosperous 2013… queue fireworks:

We Will Be With You Momentarily…

Hey you… yeah, you, WordPress reader! Listen, AdrianCharlieHoran is posting a New Years themed post, tomorrow night at 8pm, right here on his blog. He says he didn’t post today as he’s saving this article for tomorrow night, got it? Good… you didn’t hear this from me! Tell your friends, tell your family, tell your next door neighbour with the cat. He says it’s gonna be quite a read… and there’ll be fireworks. Muhahah, farewell!

It’s Beginning To Look/Smell/Taste/Sound/Feel A Lot Like Christmas!

Santa Claus Christmas Cartoon HD Wallpaper 1080x607 Santa Claus Christmas Cartoon

Hallelujah! After 25 days of opening cardboard windows for a piece of milk chocolate, of running around frantically searching for present after present (seriously, I really think ‘Christmas Shopping’ should be considered a competitive sport in its own right at the Winter Olympics!) and imitating Shane MacGowan’s part in ‘Fairytale of New York’ in as drunk a fashion as possible, the big day has finally arrived. Christmas, a day where drinking excess amounts of champagne and eating large amounts of chocolate are, well, highly encouraged! Despite the stress and anxiety that precedes this day, it all works out for the best when everything builds up into one, heart-warming day of relaxation and the first of two ‘Mrs Brown’s Boys’ specials. GET IN! Whilst I feel that the novelty of my birthday wears off after a while, Christmas still remains as big, as camp and as cuddly as I remember. Why? It’s tradition. With birthdays, you just celebrate over and over again the day you were conceived! Yet, with Christmas? Well, we’re celebrating quite a lot of things simultaneously. My heart goes out to religions such as Judaism and Buddhism who don’t celebrate this day, you’re missing out on a cracking night. Regardless, I really wish to capture the true meaning of Christmas in this article because I’m sure you’re as sick to death of people posting pictures of their half-eaten Christmas dinners onto Facebook as I am! Though, coming from a sort-of Catholic family, I want to show you why Christmas is ‘The Greatest Story Ever Told’ as well as the aftermath of the Coca Cola mascot distributing goodies into our living rooms. Let’s festive this blog up!

Ahhhhh tradition. Personally, I like to see the idea of tradition as being like each person’s taste to a brussel sprout – subjective. To some, they taste like baby cabbages and in fact go down quite the treat, *mmmmmm*. To others? Well… my friend has a hate for brussel sprouts, I’ll quote him when I say that ‘they taste like dried farts wrapped in a deceptive coat of green’. Two very different answers there! It’s just the same with tradition, particularly Christmas tradition. If I were to ask five different people what their Christmas tradition was, I’d quite possibly get five different answers. Unless they were the five remaining members of my family, that is! Tradition may be different from family to family, but it remains the same from generation to generation , a bit like an iPhone. Once you gain it, you only ever so slightly tweak it, or else it wouldn’t be called tradition! In one way or another, we want to create the perfect Christmas, again. It’s something we say year on year, a tradition. This phrase wants to run through our heads at night time as we sleep for the Boxing Day Sales:

That was the best Christmas ever…

Christmas may have become commercialised; though, let’s face it, it wouldn’t feel the same without leaving mince pies and carrots beside the fireplace at midnight, waiting in anticipation as St. Nick/my Dad eats the mince pies and the reindeer/the bin eats the carrots. What makes Christmas are just the little pieces of tradition that go along with it. Opening presents at as early a time as possible (not quite to the liking of the rest of the family), watching Home Alone, a Christmas film that has quite likely been watched umpteen times before Christmas; stuffing our faces with Christmas dinner and the occasional selection box, watching the Queen’s Speech and a host of other Christmas specials (*ahem*, Doctor Who)… I really could go on till about New Year’s Day with the rest of that list! We make Christmas our own Christmas with the little things which make up our own tradition.

Yet, that’s just one side of this chocolate coin covered in golden tin foil.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS! Whilst it may be Coca Cola’s time to shine as they sent their mascot all across the globe last night, it is in fact the day where God’s mascot was sent to us in the form of a young, vulnerable child on Earth. That’s the only casual blasphemy in this post, I swear! The Greatest Story Ever Told is a tradition in itself, a story we’ve been told since we were little kids. Heck, you might have even been in a nativity play in primary school (Me? A shepherd, clearly the best of the three)! Though, unlike the festive tradition we all know and love, this one remains the same for every single person. In no story will you find Jesus being born at the local NHS hospital, or Mary and Joseph asking if they can stay the night at a local ‘Premier Inn’ – oh no, sir/madame, the Christmas story is just as you remember it. Christmas came from this story. In fact, it is this story, Christmas even has ‘Christ’ in it, that must count for something!

The sad truth is, it isn’t as captured as its commercialised counterpart is. We captured the spirit of that Christmas a long time ago. Being a good Catholic, I attended/played violin in this morning’s Christmas mass, an event which I struggled to recollect as *shuffles collar nervously* I haven’t been to one in a long time. After a bit of the old praying and consuming Jesus’ body and blood, as you do, the priest told us a little story. Last night, he was visited by a man with news and a story to tell. Before you panic, it wasn’t a Jehovah’s Witness, he would have just marched straight through the door without question if it was! Instead, it was a man dressed as a Santa and… didn’t fulfill that stereotype we’ve all grown to know. Sure, he had the boots, the suit and the facial hair, but… he wasn’t all that jolly! He was saddened as he saw that people were beginning to lose the true meaning of Christmas. The priest agreed, wondering if the man had any tricks up his sleeve to recreate the message. He didn’t exactly have anything up his sleeve BUT, he did have presents in his big old sack to get his point across. What would the man in red be without them? From the bag, he pulled out three gits which I’m certain you’ll have seen before.

  1. Present – whilst we might see this as a PS3 or a new pair of Converse, this Santa believed that whilst it represents our generosity to others, it also represents that Jesus was God’s gift to the world to save the world from sin. Yet Santa puts coal in our stockings when we’ve been naughty? Some people, eh…
  2. Holly Branch – a rare species in the festive kingdom that is our household on the 25th of December. It may not be so obvious, but the leaves on this can be quite painful if you ever decide to prod them! This spiky leaf represents the crown of thorns that J-man in time will wear on the cross, whilst the berries represent the blood that he will shed for us. *Yuck*, I know, this wasn’t his most pleasant of gifts!
  3. Christmas Lights – more often than not, this is a source of nibbling for my cat rather than a source of light for the tree! The heat emitted presents the warmth to last us through winter, whilst the light presents how Jesus was the light of the world, to guide us all. I think we’ll make that Strike 3? GET ON YOUR SLEIGH, SANTA, J-MAN HAS WON CHRISTMAS!

Personally, I feel that we can appreciate both of the traditions of Christmas. Without either of them, there wouldn’t even be the Christmas we have today! What’s important is that we remember its true meaning – to share with others, to appreciate how lucky we are for what we have and that whilst Christmas may end tonight? We’ll be scoffing on those selection boxes for many, many months to come. Have a Merry Christmas everyone! This post is my present to you – for technical reasons I couldn’t wrap it, I’ll work on that…

It’s… It’s Not You, It’s Me!

LOOK AT THE SAD KITTY! Why is it sad, might you ask? Mate, because it’s clearly photoshopped! Okay, buddy, no heckling we have a sad kitten, here, show some respect. I’ll tell you why this little kitty is sad – because sadly AdrianCharlesHoran has to go without a new, lovely post tonight. *Boos extensively*, tell me about it, I know! It’s… it’s not you it’s me. Whilst I may be rubbish at juggling in a physical manner (if you ever see me attempting to juggle? Flee for your own safety!) I’m also not so great in a metaphorical sense, either. Today has been an incredibly manic day and I’m afraid this blog will have to remain untouched until my next posting day as it’ll be the same for the next few days. Don’t you worry, readers, I’ll take up juggling AND I’ll be sure to do my blog on the Saturday as opposed to the Sunday just for making a young kitten cry. I know, I know, who does that! In time, this kitty will find happiness. You may sleep calmly tonight, I’ve got this covered! There’s a whole collection of posts on my blog for you to take a gander at, so don’t be afraid to check them out. If you do? Well, let me show you just what a little bit of reading can do:

Just look at that cheeky smile! I think we know what’s at stake here…

Didn’t I Tell Ya ‘There Was More Where That Came From’?

I may not exactly be your typical scientist (far from it actually – when someone says the letters ‘x’ and ‘y’ to me, I think of ‘Coldplay’, not chromosomes. I’m a disgrace of a Biology student), but I’ve constructed my own thesis. From assessing myself as a variable as to how I feel, as well as my lack of luck on this particular day of the week, I can come to one conclusion – Mondays SUCK. They suck more than a thunderstorm during outdoor P.E. class and the cancellation of your newly-found favourite TV programme after one series. Combined. After spending the weekend eating junk-food galore, watching X Factor and napping like a toddler on the sofa, I spend Monday mornings usually stimulating myself with a cold coffee and a lacking sense of achievement. Can Mondays, just, not exist? I think to myself – but sadly they do. Why did the dinosaurs have to be wiped out clean by an asteroid and become extinct, but Mondays didn’t? Yet as ‘The Killers’ melody runs through my head’ singing ‘This is the woooooorld, that we live in’, life must go on. As we all know, folks – life works miracles in the smallest of ways. Well, not always in the smallest of ways; I mean, Jesus fed 5000 people with 5 fish and 2 loaves loaves of bread! (Seriously, if the second coming ever happens? They need to do ‘Come Dine With Christ’ and have Dave Lamb commentating it, it’d be an incredible sight to see) My luck was finally restored, as the recent Monday was actually one of the best days I’ve had in one heck of a long time. As I sit publishing my posts, I can’t help but wish for another award that I can add to my metaphorical ‘Award Wall’. I’m a sucker for a cliche, as there certainly was ‘more where that came from’! Jessica at ‘This One Time At Band Camp’ nominated me for the ‘R.E.A.L.I.T.Y. Award’, which stands for… you know what – here it is: As I’m a good person (open to debate), I shall follow the regulations which take place in a ‘Q&A’ style, as well as listing 5 nominees who really do deserve this award. Not to sound like a ‘Butlins’ entertainer, but I’m always one to attempt to entertain my recipients. Ladies, gentlemen and possibly those who are a bit of both; I’ll present this as the five final rounds of a game of ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire’, just because I’m fearless and don’t have a clue how copyright laws work! Here we go: So, Adrian, you’re just five questions away from the big total on ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?’. Well… I really hope you don’t want to be a millionaire, the award is non existent since this show is in Adrian’s subconscious. Anyway, let’s commence: Question 1 -What is Adrian Horan’s instrument of choice? A.Drums B. Sitar C.Violin D. All of the above Erm… B is screaming out at me, but C seems like the more appropriate option. Is it C? *Silence* CORRECT. Question 2 – If Adrian Horan wanted to do one thing someday, what would it be? A. Skydive B. Nothing C. Become a woman D. Learn interpretive dance I’m sure the poor boy would have no pride left if it was option C! *Laughter from audience* Skydiving seems a bit out there – is it option A? *Silence* RIGHT AGAIN. Question 3 -If you could be one celebrity for a day, who would it be? A. Barney The Purple Dinosaur B. Angelina Jolie C. Barack Obama D. Clint Eastwood Boy, this is a tough one… it’d be great to be all of them! Can I ask the audience? *Looks at audience*, they look like a friendly bunch. Let’s do it! If you can use the remotes under your chair and select an option. Our polls suggest that 48% said Clint Eastwood, 32% said Barack Obama, 19% said Angelina Jolie and… sorry folks, only 1% said Barney The Purple Dinosaur. *Looks at audience* ladies and gentlemen, Barney is actually in the audience! Only in a 17 year old teenager’s subconscious, folks. I’ll go with D, Chris. *Silence* BINGO Question 4 – If Adrian Horan won the Euromillions, what would he do with the money? A. Use it wisely and invest it in his bank account. B. Pay for driving lessons, university tuition fees and buy a house. C. Lose it. D. Buy mint condition comic books that can never be read or touched. C and D made me cringe when I heard them, so it can’t be them. A… who would even do that? B sounds right, Chris. *Silence* YOU’RE JUST ONE QUESTION AWAY Question 5 – We all have our own fears. What is Adrian’s? A. Death B. Jaws. C. Spiders. D. Rainbows No normal human being is afraid of rainbows, unless they are incredibly homophobic! *Laughter* We all love a good rainbow. Jaws… I really hated that film, much scarier than a teeny little spider. I’m going to say B. *Silence* THAT’Swoah where’s the happy ending to this? What the *bleep*? I’m so sorry, but the answer was A, meaning you’ve lost this game of ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire’ – but at least we’ve helped Adrian receive his blogging award. We’re all winners here! *Boos from audience* Now, I’m expected to nominate 5 other bloggers who deserve this award. Each and everyone one of their blogs is such a pleasure to read, as they are both logical but also very entertaining. Here are the list of nominees:

I’d strongly recommend checking them out, each and every one of them deserves the award. Thanks for reading guys and remember – there’s more where that came from! P.s. Also, as of Monday I’m now in a relationship, which just adds to my list of how not all Mondays are about as painful to endure as a kick in the crotch.