Recession – A Beginner’s Guide

Recession – the bane in any economist’s jargon-filled handbook. The flip side of economic growth, the beginning of the end, the rocky-est bottom imaginable. For an economy to stick their hands in the air and admit, ‘Okay, we have to face the facts – right now? Our economy SUCKS’, it is often both a difficult and degrading thing to do. Yet, as we’ve seen with the likes of Greece and Ireland, it has to be done if ever a country is to bring itself back to full strength. HA, I feel sorry for them, I’d hate for Britain to be in… wait, what? Britain has always been one of the powerhouses of the global economy – with a world-class university system, as well as being one of the first ever countries to industrialize, you’d think we’d hold our own and be king of the hill, right?

Sadly, just like our star-studded friend in tights at the beginning of the article – even the most powerful of people are not immune.

Standard economic theory, a la A-Level Macroeconomics, states that a recession is ‘six months when real GDP (growth) is negative and can also be characterised by a negative output gap within a domestic economy’. Yikes. Despite the Olympic Games providing a large boost to our economy’s growth, it was only ever going to be a pipe-dream that this would grant us sustained, economic growth. We have to take off our rose-tinted spectacles and realise that the economy is in need of a face lift. Despite good news that the unemployment rate declined last January, there are fears that as Britain takes off its gold-plated AAA rating and settles for a not-as-impressive AA1 rating, we will have to embrace the word we hate so much, as economists speculate Britain will delve into triple-dip recession *cue high-pitched girly scream*.

So what impacts will that bring for Our Majesty’s pride and joy? Let’s just say we shouldn’t welcome it with open arms as, well, the symptoms aren’t something to look forward to. Often you hear people just blame any old thing on the recession. ‘Seriously, how long is this bus taking? Buses are so late these days!’ ‘It’s the recession, the recession I tells ya! *shakes fist in air*’. Not everything can, but certainly we will see a reduction in capital investment, as a squeeze in company profit means Mr Boss Man might have to save up his coppers until the ‘calm of the storm; as well as a reduction in our disposable income as a consumer – which may mean that you Subway lovers might have to reduce your foot-longs to a six-inch. It certainly won’t prove beneficial to any active member in the domestic economy.

The Chancellor, after his annihilation by a Mr Ed. Balls, is being pressured to boost spending on infrastructure projects and housing if we don’t want to have a taste of this unappealing triple-dip – I for one, don’t want to remain at this rocky bottom. No Power Ranger, not even 007, can save us from recession. If we want to escape, then, we need to consider if our current economic plan is going to bring us out on top. If we do? Well, to mimic a favourite ‘Wallace and Gromit’ special of mine – it’ll only be by ‘a close shave’.

One thought on “Recession – A Beginner’s Guide

  1. It’s a sad indictment of the second-oldest profession on the planet – politicians – that their profession has held the global reigns unchallenged for millenia, and we’re still on the brink. Far from being a species with a bit in the bank, a nice vegetable garden and a decent social life we’re STILL, after all these years of letting the me-me-me politicians drive society, one day away from starvation globally, scrabbling for every penny and fighting like refugees at a U.N. food distribution lorry.

    Now there’s a perspective to stick in their Eastleigh pipe and smoke it.

Leave a Reply to The Diesel-Electric Elephant Company Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s