You’re The One Who Is My Man Crush

In light of Valentine’s Day (or Thursday, the 14th of February we singletons prefer to call it), I’m going to share a little something with you. As couples reel out the ‘Pretty Woman’s and the ‘Titanic’s in preparation for a soppy, tear-filled evening; as roses are bought and love-letters are sealed with a great, fat *MWAH*; and as Cupid readies his golden arrows in the hope of shooting some poor, lonely sod in the derriere and filling them with a rush of hormones, I begin to realise that I’m one of the few people who will spend their night singing Akon’s ‘Mr Lonely’ in front of a mirror. Yet, we ‘lone wolves’ are capable of feeling as mushy as a plate of school dinner mash-potatoe around this time of year, too – I certainly am. Though, not in a But, but you don’t understand. I love her so much it hurts! kind of way. In a different way…

Whether it be at parties, or just randomly with my best friend, this question has awkwardly been placed into conversation, with me as its victim. So, if you had to pick one person, who would you say your man crush is? ‘The Man Crush’ – normally, I have never been able to answer this question at the expense of both my pride and my heterosexuality! However, thanks to the likes of ‘Urban Dictionary’ (which is much better than your mainstream dictionary, if not slightly more dysfunctional), I realise now that I completely misunderstood what I thought, at first, was a teenage guy’s answer to a ‘social taboo’. Respect, admiration and idolisation of another man. Bearing that in mind, I feel that to myself and my readers, I can finally answer this question without the fear of being called ‘a puff’. This is slightly awkward for me, so rather than telling you my man crush is Johnny Depp, I’ll just show you a picture of him instead:

*Lone wolf whistle*, hellooooo Johnny! Don’t get me wrong, he’s not a bad-looking chap; but it’s not his looks that encouraged me to publicly embarrass myself on WordPress. Rather, it’s the fact he has grown to become many of the traditional, fictional characters that I myself have grown to love ever since I was a little kid. Captain Jack Sparrow – the treacherous yet coward-like pirate who spends the majority of his time chasing after girls and long-lost treasures, with the question ‘Why is the rum gone?’ always at the back of his mind. Edward Scissorhands – an unfortunately disfigured ‘creation’ who doesn’t make the best first impression, but chooses to make cracking ice sculptures instead. Mad Hatter – a dysfunctional, loyal friend to Alice who throws the best damn tea party in all of Wonderland. Seriously, ask anyone! All of these different, unique characters came about from this one man. This is what makes Mr Depp worthy of being the man who is worthy of my crush. Okay, the elephant in the blog post is that all actors do this – yet, not all actors can do it in the way that he can.

Whether it be a role-model, an inspiration or an *insert sex here* crush, we enjoy to follow them by example. I realised that just having a broad, Yorkshire accent isn’t the most entertaining and inspirational one to listen to – the answer to solve this problem was in fact GCSE Drama. I thought I’d follow Johnny’s example and maybe try out a few more accents here and there. Just like he expanded into all of these different characters, I enjoyed embracing my sense of creativity and venturing into these different, cultural voices. There was a Gok Wan here, an African-American Vicar there, even a West Country farmer somewhere else! Now? You’ll certainly want me on your side when you’re prank calling someone! Having an idol to measure up against helped me achieve such a goal, albeit, a rather child-like one.

‘Measure Up Against’ being the key phrase in that sentence! In one shameful way from another, we have had to bear witness to some people who, rather than just having a crush or a role model to admire, have one instead to duplicate. Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, Joker – we’ve sadly seen them all. I think the joy of having someone to look up to is that we don’t change who we are in an attempt to become someone else; but instead we can change the way we are because it seems the right thing to do so. I’m going to bear in mind the cliché Facebook ‘You’re The One Who…’ comment: You’re the one who’s great, so don’t ever change! If it’s a real crush or a ‘Johnny Depp like’ one, remain true to yourself before you send that extra cringey Valentines Card or shave your head because ‘Britney did it so I totally should!’.

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