Here we go everyone! 5, 4, 3, 2, 1… BLAST OFF! Wait, that’s not it… *Ahem*, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1… ZERO! Nope, that’s not it either. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1… happy new year? Really? Well then – HAPPY NEW YEAR! That dysfunctional time of year has finally arrived – not a time where pink bunnies skip around throwing chocolate eggs from baskets; nor a time where hyperactive, costumed kids flock the streets to fill their goody bags a plenty. Oh no, this is a time when stumbling around your living room, champagne glass in hand and dancing around to Jools Holland are the ways to celebrate properly!
New Year’s Eve, or ‘Day’, it really does depend on whether you’re reading this before or after twelve; quite possibly the second most mischievous night of the year (I think we all know which is the first, its self explanatory title gives it away)! The thing about tonight is, we certainly remember to celebrate it with our friends and family, those close to us. With 70m texts on average sent shortly before midnight and 28% of Brits expected to go out for a family walk, I think our concern to celebrate it with others is clear! However, whether we remember any of that celebration whatsoever? Well… that is one wacky, drunken story altogether. The majority of those texts sent possibly have to be translated or… considered, as they may have been intended for someone else. The Drunken Text, the pally-pall of this night of celebration. With 180m pints of alcohol expected to be drunk, I think these two will remain friends for yet another year. Here is a simple equation for you – Drink + Text = Nskjdpehzxfdscsdq. It works, I can promise you that. Also, that family walk may even be a ‘family stumble’, depending on how hard we celebrate tonight! 70% of us are expected to have some form of house party, whether that be within our own home or at our friends. The other 30%? *Sigh*, I’m afraid you’re just not celebrating right.
As you can see, this night is a time to let go. In that void between one year and another, we can just throw all of the past year into it. Within just a mere, few seconds, we look back at an entire year. Whilst we can’t remember all of the previous year (curse you, pint of Carlsberg!), we at least try to ponder upon both the admirable and cringe-worthy highlights of it. That time you managed to spell ‘supercalifragilisticexpialidocious’ correct for the very first time without having to Google it. Or how about that time your Mum walked in on the Inbetweeners at the point where Simon had his doo-das out on the fashion show, *shudder*? Thinking about the Olympic games, whether that be the incredible sporting achievements, how Steven Feck ‘Fecked Up’ (it had to be done) his diving attempt, or seeing James Bond parachute out of a helicopter with ‘Her Majesty’ (who still looked miserable afterwards. Come on, Lizzy, you just skydived with 007 and opened the Olympic Games, crack us a smile!). Memories, memories, even more memories. We weigh up the past 365 days and just consider one of two options:
- Wow, 2012 was an absolutely brilliant year. Here’s to 2013! *Clinks wineglasses*
- Man… my year has been *beep*! Another year? Another whole year? Here’s to 2013… *Downs Smirnoff*
Before you cry on your screen and risk breaking the thing at realising you are option two – DON’T PANIC. There is still hope, which comes in the form of a little promise you make to yourself – The New Year’s Resolution. Mate, they‘re just crap, never stick to ’em anyway! Okay, the odds are stacked against me – only 1 in 10 of us succeed in fulfilling our new year’s resolution, whilst 12% of those resolutions only last throughout the year. Seems pointless, right? Well scaaaarew the statistics! To be honest, it’s not about whether you stick by your promise, but as to whether you feel you can see a change in yourself for the year. It’s a strange, little concept, the new year’s resolution. Tonight, as we change those two digits from a ’12’ to a ’13’, we in some way hope to change a little something about ourselves, too. It may even appear insignificant, something we don’t even consider throughout the year. Yet, as we see ourselves boxing the Christmas decorations *sniff* away, changing our bedside calendars, we feel that it is a necessary thing to witness a change in ourselves. To lose weight, to gain weight; to find more extra-curricular activities to do, to get rid of a few extra-curricular activities because you do too many; to make a new year’s resolution, to make a resolution to promise yourself not to make a resolution next year. The list continues! When he’s not making E.T. phone home, or creating CGI dinosaurs to chase Jeff Goldblum, Speilberg is making quotes like this:
‘All of us, every single year, we’re a different person. I don’t think we’re the same person all our lives’
Too right, Stevie. Who knows whether we’ll succeed in our miniature promise – but as long as we ignore the fact that 2013 may be an unlucky year if you’re superstitious, party the night away today and count those 10 numbers down with Ole Joolsey like you’ve never bloomin’ counted before? Well, the next year is going to be one hell of a ride. Happy New Year, sober readers, and to those too intoxicated to read this? Happy New Year to you, too! I hope you all have a prosperous 2013… queue fireworks: