And I Think To Myself – ‘What A Weird And Wonderful World’

Personally, I hope you read that title in a Louis Armstrong-like manner. Don’t worry, you can now return to your normal, narrative voice for the rest of the article! Now, feast your eyes on the above picture. This idiom is finally relevent in a literal sense within my life as recently, I innocently cracked open an egg, not knowing what unnatural abomination lay inside it. Any idea what it was? *Gips*, my egg white… was green. Neon green. Neon green like ‘Monster’ energy drink and Borat’s ‘mankini’ neon green. Sadly, I had to grant this a different name – ‘lunch’. The irony here is that neon green is far beyond the likes of the colour white (Okay, physics people,  I know that green is a fragment of the spectrum of light which is white. Just put your ‘Biology Heads’ on momentarily). I didn’t even know what to make of this yucky substance. Even Google was divided on the matter! Whilst some suggested, ‘No seriously, it’s just a surplus of B12 vitamin, eat it, it’ll be ‘rate’, others exclaimed ‘Whatever you do – DON’T eat it! It’s a bacterial infection, which means you’ll die!’. *Moderate applause*, both convincing arguments; however, my tummy needed a fillin’, so I muttered ‘yolo’ under my breath and ate the thing. Ate it and spent the next half an hour thinking that my stomach was now a tick-tocking time bomb!

But nothing happened.

I’m alive? I ate that weird slime and I’m alive? It really was a surplus of B12! If I were to be stereotypical old me and throw it away because it looked weird, I wouldn’t have digested that wonderful, B12 goodness. Mind you, I don’t know what B12 vitamin does – but I’m a sucker for a freebie! Whilst the weird and the wonderful bat for two, separate, metaphorical teams; this instance brought the two together (albeit, in a green, ‘gunky’ mess). Can the two be one in the same?

Observation One: No *Beeping* Way! Sometimes, we enjoy to see dysfunctional things happen that are out of the ordinary, just to add a twist to our lives. Videos of a turtle humping a shoe, a flock of ducks running down a street and a rap battle between Moses and Santa Clause are all examples of weird things that I’ve never seen occur in my lifetime, but boy do I need them in my life. They’re bizarre, they make me chuckle, a perfect blend! The Golden Rule (No not Christ’s Golden Rule) of weird things – you’ve got to know where the line is. Passing beyond this line is the reason nature just can’t put ‘weird’ and ‘wonderful’ together. We’ve seen weird things stagger weirdly across this metaphorical line of weirdness into the realm of weird, whether that be on the internet or in our lives (let’s hope we don’t come across these in our lives… ew.). Wonderful? Pffffft. Cringe-worthy? You bet your bottom dollar they’re cringe-worthy! Just to show you why, here is my Top 3 ‘Dude What Even Is That?!’ list. My apologies for bringing these to the world of WordPress, but they had to be seen:

  1. The Aye-Aye. A creature that looks like God combined a bat, a mouse and a creature from ‘Gremlins’ (and I’m not talking ‘Gizmo’. I’m talking about the ‘having chicken after 12’ ones!) into one, weird-ass package:
  2. Rolf Bucholz, the world’s ‘Most Pierced Man’ – because you can never have too many piercings:
  3. I don’t know. I really do not know…

As Joey Tribbiani once said, ‘Over the line? You… you.. you’re so far past the line that you can’t even see
the line! The line is a dot to you!’. Oh how appropriate this is feeling right now! Some weird is good, but examples such as these are reasons why weird remains as weird. Why the weird kids get called ‘weird’ by the other kids, why ‘Weird Al’ calls himself ‘Weird Al’. Why? The line is quite possibly a dot to them. Their egg doesn’t even have a surplus of B12 vitamin – it’s just plain rotten.

Observation Two: Sometimes ‘Weird’ And ‘Wonderful’ Are One In The Same. Now we come to my favourite observation. If you’ve ever looked up the definition of ‘Weird’, it means ‘Of a strikingly odd or unusual character; strange’. Sadly, the first thought that appears to come to mind for a lot of people is something shown in Observation One. Yikes. They’re often seen as a sort of ‘social taboo’, something that would exert a ‘What the f**k?!’ if witnessed in a public place. I really don’t feel it should be seen in such a derogatory way. Heck, if anything, it’s a compliment! It’s different to what we would usually begin to expect, sometimes provided with a reason and sometimes without. Here, the ‘weird’ can be coupled with the ‘wonderful’. Wonderweird, if I need to make up a term! Just think about things in your life that might associate with this concept. Let me give you a hand:

  • Blushing – it’s not a necessary, biological function is it? Scientists know how it happens, but not why your cheeks turn as red as a ripe tomato when someone says ‘Nice work, you’ve done a brilliant job, congratulations!’.
  • Rainbows – they’re not exactly a regular sight to see, unless you’re wandering through Bristol during ‘Gay Pride Parade’! Merely formed when light from the sun enters a raindrop and is bounced around inside it, I still feel amazed when I see one sitting across the sky. It may be weird, but it truly is a sight to behold.
  • Laughing – snorting, cackling, howling… all forms of laughing that when someone else sees you performing a laugh in such an embarrassing manner? They can’t help but laugh too just to make you look less silly. Nawwww. This is our body’s reaction to the spread of positive reactions when we see a fat kid fall off of a trampoline and a desperate teenager warning us to ‘LEAVE BRITNEY ALOOOONE!’

It may not be so obvious, but the wonderfully weird exists all around us. If someone calls you ‘weird’, I’ll leave that to you to interpret which observation they’re referring too. As long as you drink the B12 vitamin ‘Surplus of Life’ and remain on the metaphorical line of not-so-weirdness? You’ll begin to appreciate ‘Wonderweird’ just that bit more often. Oh – and this will also help you on your quest, too, I can promise you that!

2 thoughts on “And I Think To Myself – ‘What A Weird And Wonderful World’

  1. haha.. this reminded me of the Simpson’s episode where Homer eats the “poisonous” fugu and thinks he only has 24 hours to live! Now I’m jealous I don’t have a green egg

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