It’s A New Start, It’s A New Year, It’s A New Life For Me – And I’m Feeling Drunk

 Top New Years Eve Parties In Las Vegas

Here we go everyone! 5, 4, 3, 2, 1… BLAST OFF! Wait, that’s not it… *Ahem*, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1… ZERO! Nope, that’s not it either.  5, 4, 3, 2, 1… happy new year? Really? Well then – HAPPY NEW YEAR! That dysfunctional time of year has finally arrived – not a time where pink bunnies skip around throwing chocolate eggs from baskets; nor a time where hyperactive, costumed kids flock the streets to fill their goody bags a plenty. Oh no, this is a time when stumbling around your living room, champagne glass in hand and dancing around to Jools Holland are the ways to celebrate properly!

New Year’s Eve, or ‘Day’, it really does depend on whether you’re reading this before or after twelve; quite possibly the second most mischievous night of the year (I think we all know which is the first, its self explanatory title gives it away)! The thing about tonight is, we certainly remember to celebrate it with our friends and family, those close to us. With 70m texts on average sent shortly before midnight and 28% of Brits expected to go out for a family walk, I think our concern to celebrate it with others is clear! However, whether we remember any of that celebration whatsoever? Well… that is one wacky, drunken story altogether. The majority of those texts sent possibly have to be translated or… considered, as they may have been intended for someone else. The Drunken Text, the pally-pall of this night of celebration. With 180m pints of alcohol expected to be drunk, I think these two will remain friends for yet another year. Here is a simple equation for you – Drink + Text = Nskjdpehzxfdscsdq. It works, I can promise you that. Also, that family walk may even be a ‘family stumble’, depending on how hard we celebrate tonight! 70% of us are expected to have some form of house party, whether that be within our own home or at our friends. The other 30%? *Sigh*, I’m afraid you’re just not celebrating right.

As you can see, this night is a time to let go. In that void between one year and another, we can just throw all of the past year into it. Within just a mere, few seconds, we look back at an entire year. Whilst we can’t remember all of the previous year (curse you, pint of Carlsberg!), we at least try to ponder upon both the admirable and cringe-worthy highlights of it. That time you managed to spell ‘supercalifragilisticexpialidocious’ correct for the very first time without having to Google it. Or how about that time your Mum walked in on the Inbetweeners at the point where Simon had his doo-das out on the fashion show, *shudder*? Thinking about the Olympic games, whether that be the incredible sporting achievements, how Steven Feck ‘Fecked Up’ (it had to be done) his diving attempt, or seeing James Bond parachute out of a helicopter with ‘Her Majesty’ (who still looked miserable afterwards. Come on, Lizzy, you just skydived with 007 and opened the Olympic Games, crack us a smile!). Memories, memories, even more memories. We weigh up the past 365 days and just consider one of two options:

  1. Wow, 2012 was an absolutely brilliant year. Here’s to 2013! *Clinks wineglasses*
  2. Man… my year has been *beep*! Another year? Another whole year? Here’s to 2013… *Downs Smirnoff*

Before you cry on your screen and risk breaking the thing at realising you are option two – DON’T PANIC. There is still hope, which comes in the form of a little promise you make to yourself – The New Year’s Resolution. Mate, they‘re just crap, never stick to ’em anyway! Okay, the odds are stacked against me – only 1 in 10 of us succeed in fulfilling our new year’s resolution, whilst 12% of those resolutions only last throughout the year. Seems pointless, right? Well scaaaarew the statistics! To be honest, it’s not about whether you stick by your promise, but as to whether you feel you can see a change in yourself for the year. It’s a strange, little concept, the new year’s resolution. Tonight, as we change those two digits from a ’12’ to a ’13’, we in some way hope to change a little something about ourselves, too. It may even appear insignificant, something we don’t even consider throughout the year. Yet, as we see ourselves boxing the Christmas decorations *sniff* away, changing our bedside calendars, we feel that it is a necessary thing to witness a change in ourselves. To lose weight, to gain weight; to find more extra-curricular activities to do, to get rid of a few extra-curricular activities because you do too many; to make a new year’s resolution, to make a resolution to promise yourself not to make a resolution next year. The list continues! When he’s not making E.T. phone home, or creating CGI dinosaurs to chase Jeff Goldblum, Speilberg is making quotes like this:

‘All of us, every single year, we’re a different person. I don’t think we’re the same person all our lives’

Too right, Stevie. Who knows whether we’ll succeed in our miniature promise – but as long as we ignore the fact that 2013 may be an unlucky year if you’re superstitious, party the night away today and count those 10 numbers down with Ole Joolsey like you’ve never bloomin’ counted before? Well, the next year is going to be one hell of a ride. Happy New Year, sober readers, and to those too intoxicated to read this? Happy New Year to you, too! I hope you all have a prosperous 2013… queue fireworks:

We Will Be With You Momentarily…

Hey you… yeah, you, WordPress reader! Listen, AdrianCharlieHoran is posting a New Years themed post, tomorrow night at 8pm, right here on his blog. He says he didn’t post today as he’s saving this article for tomorrow night, got it? Good… you didn’t hear this from me! Tell your friends, tell your family, tell your next door neighbour with the cat. He says it’s gonna be quite a read… and there’ll be fireworks. Muhahah, farewell!

It’s Beginning To Look/Smell/Taste/Sound/Feel A Lot Like Christmas!

Santa Claus Christmas Cartoon HD Wallpaper 1080x607 Santa Claus Christmas Cartoon

Hallelujah! After 25 days of opening cardboard windows for a piece of milk chocolate, of running around frantically searching for present after present (seriously, I really think ‘Christmas Shopping’ should be considered a competitive sport in its own right at the Winter Olympics!) and imitating Shane MacGowan’s part in ‘Fairytale of New York’ in as drunk a fashion as possible, the big day has finally arrived. Christmas, a day where drinking excess amounts of champagne and eating large amounts of chocolate are, well, highly encouraged! Despite the stress and anxiety that precedes this day, it all works out for the best when everything builds up into one, heart-warming day of relaxation and the first of two ‘Mrs Brown’s Boys’ specials. GET IN! Whilst I feel that the novelty of my birthday wears off after a while, Christmas still remains as big, as camp and as cuddly as I remember. Why? It’s tradition. With birthdays, you just celebrate over and over again the day you were conceived! Yet, with Christmas? Well, we’re celebrating quite a lot of things simultaneously. My heart goes out to religions such as Judaism and Buddhism who don’t celebrate this day, you’re missing out on a cracking night. Regardless, I really wish to capture the true meaning of Christmas in this article because I’m sure you’re as sick to death of people posting pictures of their half-eaten Christmas dinners onto Facebook as I am! Though, coming from a sort-of Catholic family, I want to show you why Christmas is ‘The Greatest Story Ever Told’ as well as the aftermath of the Coca Cola mascot distributing goodies into our living rooms. Let’s festive this blog up!

Ahhhhh tradition. Personally, I like to see the idea of tradition as being like each person’s taste to a brussel sprout – subjective. To some, they taste like baby cabbages and in fact go down quite the treat, *mmmmmm*. To others? Well… my friend has a hate for brussel sprouts, I’ll quote him when I say that ‘they taste like dried farts wrapped in a deceptive coat of green’. Two very different answers there! It’s just the same with tradition, particularly Christmas tradition. If I were to ask five different people what their Christmas tradition was, I’d quite possibly get five different answers. Unless they were the five remaining members of my family, that is! Tradition may be different from family to family, but it remains the same from generation to generation , a bit like an iPhone. Once you gain it, you only ever so slightly tweak it, or else it wouldn’t be called tradition! In one way or another, we want to create the perfect Christmas, again. It’s something we say year on year, a tradition. This phrase wants to run through our heads at night time as we sleep for the Boxing Day Sales:

That was the best Christmas ever…

Christmas may have become commercialised; though, let’s face it, it wouldn’t feel the same without leaving mince pies and carrots beside the fireplace at midnight, waiting in anticipation as St. Nick/my Dad eats the mince pies and the reindeer/the bin eats the carrots. What makes Christmas are just the little pieces of tradition that go along with it. Opening presents at as early a time as possible (not quite to the liking of the rest of the family), watching Home Alone, a Christmas film that has quite likely been watched umpteen times before Christmas; stuffing our faces with Christmas dinner and the occasional selection box, watching the Queen’s Speech and a host of other Christmas specials (*ahem*, Doctor Who)… I really could go on till about New Year’s Day with the rest of that list! We make Christmas our own Christmas with the little things which make up our own tradition.

Yet, that’s just one side of this chocolate coin covered in golden tin foil.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS! Whilst it may be Coca Cola’s time to shine as they sent their mascot all across the globe last night, it is in fact the day where God’s mascot was sent to us in the form of a young, vulnerable child on Earth. That’s the only casual blasphemy in this post, I swear! The Greatest Story Ever Told is a tradition in itself, a story we’ve been told since we were little kids. Heck, you might have even been in a nativity play in primary school (Me? A shepherd, clearly the best of the three)! Though, unlike the festive tradition we all know and love, this one remains the same for every single person. In no story will you find Jesus being born at the local NHS hospital, or Mary and Joseph asking if they can stay the night at a local ‘Premier Inn’ – oh no, sir/madame, the Christmas story is just as you remember it. Christmas came from this story. In fact, it is this story, Christmas even has ‘Christ’ in it, that must count for something!

The sad truth is, it isn’t as captured as its commercialised counterpart is. We captured the spirit of that Christmas a long time ago. Being a good Catholic, I attended/played violin in this morning’s Christmas mass, an event which I struggled to recollect as *shuffles collar nervously* I haven’t been to one in a long time. After a bit of the old praying and consuming Jesus’ body and blood, as you do, the priest told us a little story. Last night, he was visited by a man with news and a story to tell. Before you panic, it wasn’t a Jehovah’s Witness, he would have just marched straight through the door without question if it was! Instead, it was a man dressed as a Santa and… didn’t fulfill that stereotype we’ve all grown to know. Sure, he had the boots, the suit and the facial hair, but… he wasn’t all that jolly! He was saddened as he saw that people were beginning to lose the true meaning of Christmas. The priest agreed, wondering if the man had any tricks up his sleeve to recreate the message. He didn’t exactly have anything up his sleeve BUT, he did have presents in his big old sack to get his point across. What would the man in red be without them? From the bag, he pulled out three gits which I’m certain you’ll have seen before.

  1. Present – whilst we might see this as a PS3 or a new pair of Converse, this Santa believed that whilst it represents our generosity to others, it also represents that Jesus was God’s gift to the world to save the world from sin. Yet Santa puts coal in our stockings when we’ve been naughty? Some people, eh…
  2. Holly Branch – a rare species in the festive kingdom that is our household on the 25th of December. It may not be so obvious, but the leaves on this can be quite painful if you ever decide to prod them! This spiky leaf represents the crown of thorns that J-man in time will wear on the cross, whilst the berries represent the blood that he will shed for us. *Yuck*, I know, this wasn’t his most pleasant of gifts!
  3. Christmas Lights – more often than not, this is a source of nibbling for my cat rather than a source of light for the tree! The heat emitted presents the warmth to last us through winter, whilst the light presents how Jesus was the light of the world, to guide us all. I think we’ll make that Strike 3? GET ON YOUR SLEIGH, SANTA, J-MAN HAS WON CHRISTMAS!

Personally, I feel that we can appreciate both of the traditions of Christmas. Without either of them, there wouldn’t even be the Christmas we have today! What’s important is that we remember its true meaning – to share with others, to appreciate how lucky we are for what we have and that whilst Christmas may end tonight? We’ll be scoffing on those selection boxes for many, many months to come. Have a Merry Christmas everyone! This post is my present to you – for technical reasons I couldn’t wrap it, I’ll work on that…

And I Think To Myself – ‘What A Weird And Wonderful World’

Personally, I hope you read that title in a Louis Armstrong-like manner. Don’t worry, you can now return to your normal, narrative voice for the rest of the article! Now, feast your eyes on the above picture. This idiom is finally relevent in a literal sense within my life as recently, I innocently cracked open an egg, not knowing what unnatural abomination lay inside it. Any idea what it was? *Gips*, my egg white… was green. Neon green. Neon green like ‘Monster’ energy drink and Borat’s ‘mankini’ neon green. Sadly, I had to grant this a different name – ‘lunch’. The irony here is that neon green is far beyond the likes of the colour white (Okay, physics people,  I know that green is a fragment of the spectrum of light which is white. Just put your ‘Biology Heads’ on momentarily). I didn’t even know what to make of this yucky substance. Even Google was divided on the matter! Whilst some suggested, ‘No seriously, it’s just a surplus of B12 vitamin, eat it, it’ll be ‘rate’, others exclaimed ‘Whatever you do – DON’T eat it! It’s a bacterial infection, which means you’ll die!’. *Moderate applause*, both convincing arguments; however, my tummy needed a fillin’, so I muttered ‘yolo’ under my breath and ate the thing. Ate it and spent the next half an hour thinking that my stomach was now a tick-tocking time bomb!

But nothing happened.

I’m alive? I ate that weird slime and I’m alive? It really was a surplus of B12! If I were to be stereotypical old me and throw it away because it looked weird, I wouldn’t have digested that wonderful, B12 goodness. Mind you, I don’t know what B12 vitamin does – but I’m a sucker for a freebie! Whilst the weird and the wonderful bat for two, separate, metaphorical teams; this instance brought the two together (albeit, in a green, ‘gunky’ mess). Can the two be one in the same?

Observation One: No *Beeping* Way! Sometimes, we enjoy to see dysfunctional things happen that are out of the ordinary, just to add a twist to our lives. Videos of a turtle humping a shoe, a flock of ducks running down a street and a rap battle between Moses and Santa Clause are all examples of weird things that I’ve never seen occur in my lifetime, but boy do I need them in my life. They’re bizarre, they make me chuckle, a perfect blend! The Golden Rule (No not Christ’s Golden Rule) of weird things – you’ve got to know where the line is. Passing beyond this line is the reason nature just can’t put ‘weird’ and ‘wonderful’ together. We’ve seen weird things stagger weirdly across this metaphorical line of weirdness into the realm of weird, whether that be on the internet or in our lives (let’s hope we don’t come across these in our lives… ew.). Wonderful? Pffffft. Cringe-worthy? You bet your bottom dollar they’re cringe-worthy! Just to show you why, here is my Top 3 ‘Dude What Even Is That?!’ list. My apologies for bringing these to the world of WordPress, but they had to be seen:

  1. The Aye-Aye. A creature that looks like God combined a bat, a mouse and a creature from ‘Gremlins’ (and I’m not talking ‘Gizmo’. I’m talking about the ‘having chicken after 12’ ones!) into one, weird-ass package:
  2. Rolf Bucholz, the world’s ‘Most Pierced Man’ – because you can never have too many piercings:
  3. I don’t know. I really do not know…

As Joey Tribbiani once said, ‘Over the line? You… you.. you’re so far past the line that you can’t even see
the line! The line is a dot to you!’. Oh how appropriate this is feeling right now! Some weird is good, but examples such as these are reasons why weird remains as weird. Why the weird kids get called ‘weird’ by the other kids, why ‘Weird Al’ calls himself ‘Weird Al’. Why? The line is quite possibly a dot to them. Their egg doesn’t even have a surplus of B12 vitamin – it’s just plain rotten.

Observation Two: Sometimes ‘Weird’ And ‘Wonderful’ Are One In The Same. Now we come to my favourite observation. If you’ve ever looked up the definition of ‘Weird’, it means ‘Of a strikingly odd or unusual character; strange’. Sadly, the first thought that appears to come to mind for a lot of people is something shown in Observation One. Yikes. They’re often seen as a sort of ‘social taboo’, something that would exert a ‘What the f**k?!’ if witnessed in a public place. I really don’t feel it should be seen in such a derogatory way. Heck, if anything, it’s a compliment! It’s different to what we would usually begin to expect, sometimes provided with a reason and sometimes without. Here, the ‘weird’ can be coupled with the ‘wonderful’. Wonderweird, if I need to make up a term! Just think about things in your life that might associate with this concept. Let me give you a hand:

  • Blushing – it’s not a necessary, biological function is it? Scientists know how it happens, but not why your cheeks turn as red as a ripe tomato when someone says ‘Nice work, you’ve done a brilliant job, congratulations!’.
  • Rainbows – they’re not exactly a regular sight to see, unless you’re wandering through Bristol during ‘Gay Pride Parade’! Merely formed when light from the sun enters a raindrop and is bounced around inside it, I still feel amazed when I see one sitting across the sky. It may be weird, but it truly is a sight to behold.
  • Laughing – snorting, cackling, howling… all forms of laughing that when someone else sees you performing a laugh in such an embarrassing manner? They can’t help but laugh too just to make you look less silly. Nawwww. This is our body’s reaction to the spread of positive reactions when we see a fat kid fall off of a trampoline and a desperate teenager warning us to ‘LEAVE BRITNEY ALOOOONE!’

It may not be so obvious, but the wonderfully weird exists all around us. If someone calls you ‘weird’, I’ll leave that to you to interpret which observation they’re referring too. As long as you drink the B12 vitamin ‘Surplus of Life’ and remain on the metaphorical line of not-so-weirdness? You’ll begin to appreciate ‘Wonderweird’ just that bit more often. Oh – and this will also help you on your quest, too, I can promise you that!

Live From His Dad’s iPad – WordPress Presents The AdrianCharlieHoran Blog Awards!

The Award Ceremony. For generation after generation, the arrogant, the desperate and the determined have all huddled together in the same, slightly awkward room/blogging forum/*insert other meeting place here* to receive a glamorous accolade for all of their achievements. Whether that be a BAFTA, a Nobel Prize or a Stinky Shoe Award (this award genuinely exists. Not the most prestigious award in the world… though an achievement is an achievement, regardless of whether your pride and personal hygiene are at stake ), awards just keep on coming just about as long as we keep on giving. Though, we can’t just have a ‘congratulations’, *shakes hand* and be done with it! We like to make it a big deal, for one reason or another. Balloons, celebrities, music and the after parties. There are always the after parties. Have I ever been to an award ceremony? No… no, not really. Would I like to host one? HELL YEAH. Tonight, AdrianCharlesHoran is hosting his very own ‘Unofficial Blogging Awards Ceremony 2012’! *Cue award ceremony music, attempt to dramatically open red curtain. Sulk in disappointment as there is no red curtain* Yeah, did I mention I’m hosting this from my Dad’s i-Pad in my dining room? Feel free to throw your rotten tomatoes, my budget is a grand total of £0. Yet a wonderful spectacle once said ‘the best things in life are free’, so let’s commence with the show/blog post:


Our first award is the Wonderful Team Member Readership Award. It looks quite alien to me at this moment in time as I have never come across it before, but I was nominated by The Jenny Mac Book Blog for this ‘extra terrestrial’. She has an interesting, ever-expanding blog that I highly recommend you check out! Whilst I may be the presenter of this show, I’ll just accept this award momentarily:

Name is announced. Pulls the ‘I wasn’t expecting this at all’ face, but shouts ‘Hahaha I won!’ inside. Thanks friends and family who may not even be reading this, thanks made up characters to make it seem as if I have more friends than I do. Strolls back to seat in celebratory fashion.

Now the award asks that I give a little something back by nominating 14 other bloggers. This is possibly the one and only occasion I have ever read the terms and conditions:

To all those who were nominated? Congratulations! To all those who weren’t? Put on your ‘Gracious Looser Face’, it’s only for the best.


Just like a morbidly obese child at an ‘all you can eat’ buffet, I’ve always enjoyed going back for seconds. That is why I’m delighted that my second award is The Versatile Blogger award, my second nomination for this accolade. I was nominated by moonstonemaiden for this award, a writing enthusiast who I wish would never stop writing. Her blog is a delightful read, I hope the previous link gets ‘clicked’ numerous times! Though just like ‘Safestyle U.K.’  let me use a certain phrase:

You bah one yer get one free, a say yer bah one yer get one free!

Hopefully you understood that was a poor, linguistic attempt at showing a Yorskhire accent? Whilst this may not be a window, I’ll also throw in this blogging award for free thanks to The Life Of A Thinker making this my second nomination for The Very Inspiring Blogger Award. A charming blogger who likes to write just a little something about everything. Unfortunately, this fictional awards ceremony is short-staffed, so I may have to present myself with my own award again – I’m not vain, I promise you. As I’ve received these awards before, I’ll limit the number of nominees to just 5 as, well… these awards will be running all over the place if I nominate 15 again! Here is the magic five:

All of their blogs do exactly what it says on the tin/on the giant colourful boxes as presented above – keep up the good work! Now, for those eager to learn, here are five facts about myself:

1. One of my eyes are blue – my black and white display picture isn’t the best identifier of such a feature.

2. My dancing skills are appalling, but I can do a not-so-shabby robot if ever a request is given. Don’t doubt the mystical power of the comment’s section, your wish just might come true!

3. My favourite day of the year is the 31st of January – here’s to new beginnings, Jools Holland and a heck of a lot of champagne!

4. Top Trumps is the best way to spend a car journey in my opinion. By the time I’ve ‘I Spied’ something we’re five miles ahead of where it was when it was guessed – this will always stay in your car! Unless opening your car window was the worst mistake you ever made…

5. The other eye is also blue. Gotchya!

There’re more awards where that came from, huh? I’ve just realized that the BBC Sports Personality of the Year awards are also on at this time… I like a bit of competition now and again! Plus, you can’t record this on your Sky Plus box so I definitely recommend staying to read the rest. But I can read it whenever I want? …touche. This is my second nomination for this award and I’d like to thank Midnight Blossoms for nominating me, her blog makes me hungry and if you check it out you will certainly see why! This is awarded to anyone 200 followers or less. Thankfully, my blog hasn’t rocketed into a colourful array of magical success that my followers are above 200. In fact, they are just below 200. I know – saaaaneaky! My nominator has given me ten questions to answer – because I’ve always wanted to speak as the ‘Ginger Dragon’ herself, I’ll answer these in the style of ‘The Weakest Link’. You can’t say I’m not good to you, readers!

Who should have spent their money on a brain implant? Who obviously skipped school and bail? Why do I always raise my eyebrows in such a suggestive manner? It’s time to find out in The Weakest Link *Commence theme tune*

1. Adrian, is there anything you can’t do? No. Wrong, you can’t answer this question.

2. What kind of foods do you like the most? Pasta and Pizza? Correct.

3. What is your favourite colour? Red. Correct.


4. What is your favourite movie? Toy Story – it’s funny and I’m childish. Correct. 

5. House or apartment? Apartment. Wrong – you’re too lazy.

6. What is the best thing that has happened to you? My Blog? Correct.

7. What is your biggest fear? You? It was death, but I’ll allow it.

8. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Plenty Correct.


9. Iphone or Android? Android. Correct.

10.What is your favorite website and why? IGN – I’m a male teenager. Correct 

*Commence theme music*

Adrian, you answered 8/10 correct but only banked a total of four blog award. Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the dumbest of them all? You it seems! You are The Weakest Link… goodbye!

Here are my 10 questions:

  1. You have one wish – what is it?
  2. To be or not to be?
  3. What is the strangest thing you have ever seen?
  4. Do you prefer your Mum or your Dad? Why?
  5. Who is your favourite band?
  6. What would you change about yourself? Why?
  7. Ham or Cheese?
  8. What is your favourite TV show? Why?
  9. If you could control the future or the past – which one?
  10. What would you name your alter ego?

Aaaaaaaaaaand the nominees are:

By now, I’m sure the BBC have ended their showing of the Sports Personality of the Year – now it is time for me to end mine! Don’t you worry, there are plenty of imaginary sandwiches at the back of the room and you can also pay a visit to the imaginary cocktail bar to end what has been an incredible night. Thank you for reading and let’s hope ITV read this and make this an annual televised event! Who am I kidding, my fingers will be crossed for all eternity until that happens…

Science – It’s A Kind Of Magic(?)

Your ancestors called it magic… but you call it science. I come from a land where they are one and the same. If your retina has been blessed with the ‘visual delight’ known as ‘Thor’, you just might remember this quote that our bearded, ‘hammer-of-the-gods’ wielding superhero said to Natalie Portman. Asgard – a land of rainbow bridges, floating castles and magical, electrical hammers. Would we like all three of those? Sure. Can we acquire any of them? Well… Homer Simpson made a standard, electric hammer once upon a time. Yikes… I’ll leave such a weapon to the Gods! Thor’s homeland is far beyond Earth – though considering he has joined together magic and science, I think humanity wished it could be just that little bit closer. Magic and science… can we mortals really have both?

Back on planet Earth, science has always been the ‘school bully’ of our time. If ever that ‘religion’ kid were to suggest a new thesis, for example, that God created the world; well, science would put on its metaphorical knuckle dusters and knock some sense into it. ‘Now I won’t ask you again. What was it that created the universe?‘B-b-b big b-b-b bang of course!’. Science has always seemed to have its way in this world – if there isn’t an answer for something? Into the ‘Illogical Bin’ it goes. Logic just seems to be the answer for everything. Though, as the saying goes, there is always going to be that ‘new kid on the block’ who casually strolls into the mix to spice things up a little.

Enter ‘Magic’:

Woah how did you do that? Magic. Where did that come from? Magic. I just left a £20 note on my desk and now it’s gone, do you know where it went? I, *ahem* Maaaaaagic. Magic found a way to deny logic and blow the minds of all of those who bared witness to it. People no longer relied on an answer for everything, they only needed one answer. Magic. However, as we all know, the new kid doesn’t always fit in right from the very beginning. Consider this reaction, this was probably how magic would’ve started out from the very beginning:

‘Hey, Sarah, I’ve found this neat thing out called magic. You can do all these cool tricks and stuff and you don’t even need to know how they happen!‘ ‘Wow, Ashlea, that sounds awesome! It sounds a bit farfetched, though… can you show me how it works?’ ‘Sure thing – Do you see this stone? I can make it disappear!’ ‘No you can’t…’ ‘Watch me. Abracadabra!’ *Stone disappears* ‘That was cool… SHE’S A WITCH! HERESY – BURN HER AT THE STAKE!!’

Not the best start to magic, I know. Hundreds of years ago, anything that defied logic was seen as evil or some form of witchcraft. Ye Olde England would sure have destroyed all copies of ‘Thor’ (not really. If my history is correct, this alien concept known as a ‘DVD’ didn’t exist then!) if their ears received such a quote to basically combine non-logic with logic. Regardless of that, magic has become a mainstream part to today’s society. Ranging from ‘That Thumb Thing’, to David Blaine (I won’t provide an example. I think you know how insane this man is!), magic is everywhere we turn. Though, just like my cat Lily when faced with a mirror, we still don’t know what lies behind it. Why is it we love it so much?

For this young spectacle (glasses pun intended) magic is basically his life. From fighting dark wizards, brewing potions and accidentally choking on a vomit flavoured ‘Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Bean’, I can safely say that magic is this boy’s life. Mind you, with that scar on his forehead I don’t really think he had a choice! As much as I love to watch these films and read the books, I can’t help but imagine that Harry’s magic is nothing like our own. Whilst we aimlessly pick cards out of someone’s deck and attempt to cut carrots with pieces of paper, Harry is shouting spells like ‘Expecto Patronum!’ and flying on a broom being chased by a fire-breathing dragon. If anything, his magic is exactly like Thor’s – there is logic behind it. Hogwart’s magic is in a sense their own science. They must know the formula/spell, they must know the logic behind it and more importantly – they must know when to use it correctly so they don’t blow stuff up. Harry also comes from a world where magic and science are one in the same. Why can’t we have this in reality?

I’ll admit, the closest we are to a combination of the two is Derren Brown. Whether he be convincing us that he has won the National Lottery (lucky bugger), or convincing some poor, innocent man that he has in fact about to witness the Apocalypse; he uses logic to fool us all with a trick here and a trick there. Okay, so he isn’t exactly a magician, but it’s basically the same, right? We try to convince ourselves that our brain isn’t being conned by some cheap trick; but yet again, natural selection has let us all down. Personally, I don’t feel we should try so hard to understand the logic behind magic. Surely, that’s the point? Don’t ask ‘How on earth did he pull that bunny out of that hat?!’ – just accept that somehow, this man has done a wonderful job in fooling you to believe this bunny was in that hat. Science can’t be magic, magic can’t be science. Thor and Harry Potter may come from a land where they are both one in the same – but we can just enjoy the pleasure of having them as two, separate entities. Do you know what you can also enjoy? Queen: Here is an entirely appropriate song that also allows you to strum on your air guitar – it’s a double whammy!

P.S. Due to exam time now being on the horizon, I’m afraid I’ll be reducing my posts to just once a week on the Sunday. Don’t cry, readers, I’ll increase back to two afterwards and my posts will still be of the same quality, I pwomise 🙂 *says in cute, child-like manner*

It’s… It’s Not You, It’s Me!

LOOK AT THE SAD KITTY! Why is it sad, might you ask? Mate, because it’s clearly photoshopped! Okay, buddy, no heckling we have a sad kitten, here, show some respect. I’ll tell you why this little kitty is sad – because sadly AdrianCharlesHoran has to go without a new, lovely post tonight. *Boos extensively*, tell me about it, I know! It’s… it’s not you it’s me. Whilst I may be rubbish at juggling in a physical manner (if you ever see me attempting to juggle? Flee for your own safety!) I’m also not so great in a metaphorical sense, either. Today has been an incredibly manic day and I’m afraid this blog will have to remain untouched until my next posting day as it’ll be the same for the next few days. Don’t you worry, readers, I’ll take up juggling AND I’ll be sure to do my blog on the Saturday as opposed to the Sunday just for making a young kitten cry. I know, I know, who does that! In time, this kitty will find happiness. You may sleep calmly tonight, I’ve got this covered! There’s a whole collection of posts on my blog for you to take a gander at, so don’t be afraid to check them out. If you do? Well, let me show you just what a little bit of reading can do:

Just look at that cheeky smile! I think we know what’s at stake here…

Good Job Little Blogger!

Go on, you deserve a pat on the back! This is something that I long for in life; yet, just like his manly friend ‘the handshake’ and his other, slightly metrosexual buddy ‘the hug’, we can’t use them once we receive them. In a physical sense, I mean. Think about birthdays – you’re celebrating a day where close friends and family hold the meaning of ‘Well done, you! *Insert number here* years ago, you were conceived!’. Regardless of the fact it was not by your own doing (you’ve heard the birds and the bees – I think you know whose doing it was by) you want rewards just being you. However, we can’t help but quote Stewie Griffin when we merely receive a card:


Okay, despite us being incredibly materialistic just one day a year (well, make that two considering the camp, sparkly day of Saint Nick/Jesus Christ arriving in twenty-three days time), I see the point behind it. We can’t spend this card, we can’t really give it to others but… it sure is nice to receive one. It’s the same behind the ever-growing mystery of a ‘Pat On The Back’. Why does gently patting your hand onto someone’s back (the key word is gently. No harder, people, you don’t want to be charged for assault!) mean such a great deal? Surely a note with Queen Lizzy’s face on it would do the trick nicely? Wipe those pound signs from your eyeballs, Scrooge! After all, now that it’s the festive season, it’s all about the sentiment.

I remember back in primary school (Ahhh the days when you could draw a giant heap of a mess which you called a ‘spider’ and be congratulated for. Now? I just admit I can’t draw!) we had these certificates given out every Friday for ‘A Job Well Done’. Whether it because you sat upright during an entire production of ‘Little Red Riding Hood’, or for getting 20/20 on a spelling test. Heck, even for just learning that eating felt tip pens isn’t good for you! Every so often it’s just encouraging to know that you’re doing something right. It stimulates us to possibly just do it all over again and get another certificate. However, I know that the ‘Pat On The Back’ isn’t for all of the ‘arse-kissers’ (no comment, cheeky people) and ‘goody two-shoes’ – sometimes we need a bit of praise even if we aren’t doing the right thing. If you’ve seen ‘The One Where Joey Speaks French’ on ‘Friends’ – you’ll get where I’m coming from. Even though his French was, ermmm… different to what the director wanted, he still congratulated him afterwards with ‘Good job, little buddy. That was some really good French. But I think we’re gonna go with someone else for the part.’ Okay, this may have been because Phoebe said he was retarded, but you get the picture. Whether we’re doing it right or wrong, it feels good to receive several taps on the back from either our own hand or somebody elses. Though, you might look silly tapping your own back, remember that!

Recently, I’ve received a pat on the back in the form of another blogging award. This is your real mother speaking, a humorous, witty and honest mother/story writer nominated me for what is known as ‘The Very Inspiring Blogger Award’. Her blog is such a brilliant read and I’d really recommend you check it out, she deserves numerous pats on the backs!

Before I place this award on my metaphorical ‘Award Shelf’, I am required to tell you seven, interesting things about myself and my personal life. No judgements, people, I am willing to embarrass myself publicly for you people! Here we go:

  1. I’ve only ever broken one part to my body. No, no not my heart, I’m not that soppy. It was in fact my arm. When I was 8, myself, Dad and my brother went to play football at the field. Being a young David Beckham (I’ll let you judge this once), I start passing the ball between my legs, slipped on it and landed on my arm. Yes, I fouled myself! I’d never cried and laughed so much in one, single moment – though wearing a cast for a month wasn’t so funny!
  2. My ‘star-sign’ is Taurus i.e. I am a bull in our world ‘the china shop’. So be kind and buy me sweets every once in a while, or else I might just go all ‘HULK SMASH’ on you. I’m generally a nice person, but if astrology says other wise? I ain’t one to argue!
  3. My advent calendar of choice is a festive Homer Simpson one. It’s been the same for four years and counting. Yet ‘D’oh D’oh D’oh Merrrrrry Christmas!’ still gets me every time. I’m easily amused I’ll have you know.
  4. My mobile phone is a ‘Samsung Galaxy Ace’. Ironically, I have no more knowledge of our galaxy since its purchase and I’ll go as far as to say that it is not ace, considering it is currently blocking incoming text messages. Does someone need to change its title? I think so! At least they got the ‘Samsung’ part right *applauds sarcastically*.
  5. Recently, I dressed up as ‘Fred’ with my twin brother ‘George’ for a Harry Potter ‘dress-up’ day. After much effort and persuasion, my Mum called it quits and allowed us to completely spray our hair bright ginger. Surprisingly, we weren’t beaten up! Our friends said it was ‘an early christmas miracle’ to see and passing drivers never failed to look at our *ahem* ostentatious appearance. Who knows – J.K. Rowling might ring us up if ever she makes an eighth book! My fingers are still crossed…
  6. I’m a sucker for learning new accents. I did GCSE Drama two years ago and my poor throat had to engage in a lot of multicultural shenanigans. Whether it be doing an impression of a black righteous vicar, a German, Gok Wan, Bubbles Devere from Little Britain, a T-Rex or Santa Clause? Let’s just say I’m one helluva time at parties! I’m still working on my clown impression, though, it’s a work in progress.
  7. My favourite morning drink is apple juice. Seriously, every single morning. If you were to receive a sample of my blood, it will most definitely consist of more apple juice than blood. No funny ideas, buddy, don’t go checking now, this is my apple juice fluid!

The reward also expects me to select 7 ‘Very Inspiring Bloggers’ who also deserve this award. I can’t get away with receiving this award that easily:

Please do extensively pat these people on the back and check them out! I must end this post here, folks, as I now let my Christmas festivity ooze from me as I revise for a Biology mock test. *Sigh*, this pat better be worth it…