This poor man has enough on his plate (quite literally, in most cases) without this problem. A time-consuming job that he pummels many hours into; a family that he’s had to provide for for an entire 23 seasons, yet still can’t seem to make them age; and to top it off? He’s yellow. Yellow. Let’s hope his liver is functioning the way it’s supposed to! Yet, when those 16 crayons were shoved up his nose and lodged into his brain, he made a choice – to remain dumb for the rest of his family-oriented days. Can’t he just, like, get those crayons removed? Believe you me, he did this and… well, let’s just say he preferred being a moron. To him, the fact that he can’t absorb all this knowledge isn’t such a bad thing (what would be a bad thing would be fat-free donuts and ‘Duff Zero’. Healthy eating really is the bane of this morbidly obese family-man’s life ) – is it so wrong to think the same?
I, er… sorry, sir, I don’t know the answer. If I ever so willingly wanted to make myself cringe, I would utter this phrase. Or watch a cheesy ‘rom-com’, that does a delightful trick, too! Admitting defeat. Rather than straining my face for several minutes to create an answer that would make me look like a dunce, instead I just say to myself ‘Just give up, you don’t know the answer’. Okay, at first it may feel painful to admit defeat, but, give it a few minutes and it just feels to be really irrelevant. Like stubbing your toe. We make out like the pain is endurable, yet after a few minutes? Ahhhhh. I might have been able to get over it, though I wouldn’t always. To be honest, some people still don’t! It’s not a trait we like to have, but there is a tendency to have an obsession for knowledge. Regardless of how crammed our brains already are ( all those useless Q.I. facts, upcoming important dates and friends’ birthdays into a volume of 71 cubic inches? What sorcery is this?!), we just want more, more, more. Regardless of the fact the brain is an organ, the ‘brain buffs’ out there feel the need to exercise it as if it is a muscle. It’s your loss, guys, because if a zombie apocalypse ever happens? Well – you’ll be the first ones they’re looking for! *Ahem*, braaaaaaaaaaaains:
Though, I won’t be one to judge as this was the tendency I adopted when I was a kid. In class, our teacher would ask us this question – ‘If a genie visited you, what one wish would you make?’ Personally, I had three:
- I wish my tap would just continuously sprout apple juice instead of water, Genie Man!
- Mr Genie, I wish I had unlimited wishes. Is that in the terms and conditions?
- I wish I knew EVERYTHING.
Whilst I admit they’re all a bit ‘out there’ (a bit?), it was the third one I would always ponder upon. Back in the day, me and my brother would be sat in front of the television, watching ‘Spongebob Squarepants’ whilst attempting to learn our 11 times tables for the next day. As Spongebob would flip Krabby Patty after Krabby Patty, I would sit and *humph* to myself at the fact that I really could not get past 55. Why don’t I know these? Can’t I just know them, please? Being a creative little child, I thought to myself how it would be great if I knew not just what my 11 times tables were, but everything else. Everything. What condensation actually was, what the difference between a noun and a verb was, what grass (an alien term to me at the time) actually was. Power at my fingertips/brain neurones! How good would that feel? Just to know absolutely everything? As a kid, we find that there doesn’t seem to be an awful lot to learn in this world. Yet, thanks to secondary school and shows like ‘Pointless’, we learnt the bloomin’ hard way that there is. There is an entire world out there for us to discover, piece by piece. Do you really want to know every single last bit about it? You do? Well enjoy looking like this:
Pretty big head, huh? I think I’ll pass on that! Day-by-day, we’re surrounded by question after question that seems to require an answer. Does God exist? Do you think there are aliens out there? What’s in a Krabby Patty? Questions that can’t seem to be answered right now, yet long for an answer. Why? Can’t we just live in our own ignorant, crayon-shoved-up-nose-into-brain world and accept that we don’t know everything? Okay, so I guess Steven Hawking doesn’t need to accept that rule. But we mortals should really think about doing so. We’re learning new things continuously and our incredible little/big brains are managing to not make our heads implode. So let’s be thankful, because the zombies really won’t care how many facts we’ve got up in that potential food of theirs.