I may not exactly be your typical scientist (far from it actually – when someone says the letters ‘x’ and ‘y’ to me, I think of ‘Coldplay’, not chromosomes. I’m a disgrace of a Biology student), but I’ve constructed my own thesis. From assessing myself as a variable as to how I feel, as well as my lack of luck on this particular day of the week, I can come to one conclusion – Mondays SUCK. They suck more than a thunderstorm during outdoor P.E. class and the cancellation of your newly-found favourite TV programme after one series. Combined. After spending the weekend eating junk-food galore, watching X Factor and napping like a toddler on the sofa, I spend Monday mornings usually stimulating myself with a cold coffee and a lacking sense of achievement. Can Mondays, just, not exist? I think to myself – but sadly they do. Why did the dinosaurs have to be wiped out clean by an asteroid and become extinct, but Mondays didn’t? Yet as ‘The Killers’ melody runs through my head’ singing ‘This is the woooooorld, that we live in’, life must go on. As we all know, folks – life works miracles in the smallest of ways. Well, not always in the smallest of ways; I mean, Jesus fed 5000 people with 5 fish and 2 loaves loaves of bread! (Seriously, if the second coming ever happens? They need to do ‘Come Dine With Christ’ and have Dave Lamb commentating it, it’d be an incredible sight to see) My luck was finally restored, as the recent Monday was actually one of the best days I’ve had in one heck of a long time. As I sit publishing my posts, I can’t help but wish for another award that I can add to my metaphorical ‘Award Wall’. I’m a sucker for a cliche, as there certainly was ‘more where that came from’! Jessica at ‘This One Time At Band Camp’ nominated me for the ‘R.E.A.L.I.T.Y. Award’, which stands for… you know what – here it is: As I’m a good person (open to debate), I shall follow the regulations which take place in a ‘Q&A’ style, as well as listing 5 nominees who really do deserve this award. Not to sound like a ‘Butlins’ entertainer, but I’m always one to attempt to entertain my recipients. Ladies, gentlemen and possibly those who are a bit of both; I’ll present this as the five final rounds of a game of ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire’, just because I’m fearless and don’t have a clue how copyright laws work! Here we go: So, Adrian, you’re just five questions away from the big total on ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?’. Well… I really hope you don’t want to be a millionaire, the award is non existent since this show is in Adrian’s subconscious. Anyway, let’s commence: Question 1 -What is Adrian Horan’s instrument of choice? A.Drums B. Sitar C.Violin D. All of the above Erm… B is screaming out at me, but C seems like the more appropriate option. Is it C? *Silence* CORRECT. Question 2 – If Adrian Horan wanted to do one thing someday, what would it be? A. Skydive B. Nothing C. Become a woman D. Learn interpretive dance I’m sure the poor boy would have no pride left if it was option C! *Laughter from audience* Skydiving seems a bit out there – is it option A? *Silence* RIGHT AGAIN. Question 3 -If you could be one celebrity for a day, who would it be? A. Barney The Purple Dinosaur B. Angelina Jolie C. Barack Obama D. Clint Eastwood Boy, this is a tough one… it’d be great to be all of them! Can I ask the audience? *Looks at audience*, they look like a friendly bunch. Let’s do it! If you can use the remotes under your chair and select an option. Our polls suggest that 48% said Clint Eastwood, 32% said Barack Obama, 19% said Angelina Jolie and… sorry folks, only 1% said Barney The Purple Dinosaur. *Looks at audience* ladies and gentlemen, Barney is actually in the audience! Only in a 17 year old teenager’s subconscious, folks. I’ll go with D, Chris. *Silence* BINGO Question 4 – If Adrian Horan won the Euromillions, what would he do with the money? A. Use it wisely and invest it in his bank account. B. Pay for driving lessons, university tuition fees and buy a house. C. Lose it. D. Buy mint condition comic books that can never be read or touched. C and D made me cringe when I heard them, so it can’t be them. A… who would even do that? B sounds right, Chris. *Silence* YOU’RE JUST ONE QUESTION AWAY Question 5 – We all have our own fears. What is Adrian’s? A. Death B. Jaws. C. Spiders. D. Rainbows No normal human being is afraid of rainbows, unless they are incredibly homophobic! *Laughter* We all love a good rainbow. Jaws… I really hated that film, much scarier than a teeny little spider. I’m going to say B. *Silence* THAT’S… woah where’s the happy ending to this? What the *bleep*? I’m so sorry, but the answer was A, meaning you’ve lost this game of ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire’ – but at least we’ve helped Adrian receive his blogging award. We’re all winners here! *Boos from audience* Now, I’m expected to nominate 5 other bloggers who deserve this award. Each and everyone one of their blogs is such a pleasure to read, as they are both logical but also very entertaining. Here are the list of nominees:
I’d strongly recommend checking them out, each and every one of them deserves the award. Thanks for reading guys and remember – there’s more where that came from! P.s. Also, as of Monday I’m now in a relationship, which just adds to my list of how not all Mondays are about as painful to endure as a kick in the crotch.